Summary of Pathwork Lecture #090:
Moralizing — Disproportionate Reactions — Needs
For a deeper, more rewarding experience of these teachings, consult the Lecture itself, available free of charge at: http://www.pathwork.org/lectures/P090.PDF
(Summarizer’s note: Some of the material from the questions and answers has been integrated into the main part of the summary to avoid repetition.)
Apart from negative emotions, we will also discover on the path a variety of universally-occurring conditions of the psyche.
(1) Moralizing: Whether or not it appears on the surface, we all have a tendency to moralize — with ourselves as well as with others. Moralizing, i.e., seeing things in “black and white” terms and generalizing about the whole based on partial aspects, is a natural result of holding ourselves to the high standards encompassed by the idealized self-image (ISI). We would do well to GET IN TOUCH with our moralizing tendency, as opposed to merely understanding it theoretically.
While it is well and good to have general rules of conduct, it is destructive to reject one’s self for having inevitable negative feelings and attitudes. When our “right” conduct is motivated by the fear of not being perfect, it is compulsive, unconvincing and ineffectual. Whenever we adhere to ready-made rules in order to avoid making the deeper connection to self which the evaluation of reality often requires (because we do not trust ourselves), we are moralizing. Unfortunately, the fact that such rules are inadequate makes us insecure, and this fuels a vicious cycle by giving us even less reason for self-confidence. The more we fear our negativity, the more we intensely we deny it and invest in the moral superstructure, leading to rejection of and alienation from the self, and to rigidity, fear and intolerance, which we often project onto others. Neither acting our without restraint nor living according to rigid rules is a workable substitute for doing the work which will help us grow out of our destructive impulses. It is important to OBSERVE our negative tendencies without allowing ourselves to form an exaggeratedly negative picture of ourselves based on our emotional reaction to what we observe. Trying to sweep our negative trends away, or make them disappear by ignoring them, is futile. The only solution is to learn to ACCEPT ourselves in spite of our negativities, and in spite of the fact that we don’t always really know what the right thing to do is in any particular situation.
(2) Disproportionate reactions: Whether or not it shows on the surface, we all have a tendency to react with disproportionate intensity to certain experiences, including the emotional states of ourselves and others. This is based on a polarized, black-and-white view of the world. For instance, we may react to a compliment with a sense that all is well with us (that we are living up to our ISI), while reacting to criticism with a sense that we are irretrievably bad, or at least that we are viewed that way. The challenge to doing this work is that we normally compensate for these reactions with the perspective of our informed common sense, suppressing or displacing the origin of our feelings, and thus the reactions are difficult to detect.
To the extent that we resist accepting criticism, we are caught up in our perfectionistic ideals regarding our selves. We would do well to relax these ideals, ALLOW our true feelings to surface, and OBSERVE them without trying to alter them. This will bring us to self-acceptance, which in turn will bring us to self-confidence, because we will no longer denying the reality of our human fallibility. We will be able to accept criticism flexibly, using it as an opportunity to learn about self and others. From this more open and relaxed center, we will be able to perceive reality more clearly, and this to will engender greater confidence in self.
(3) Mismanagement of needs: If we are unable to meet one of our genuine emotional needs, it is because some aspect of our capacity to do so is paralyzed. The unfulfillment of genuine emotional needs leads to the appearance of exaggerated or illusory needs, which are discernible by their excessive and compulsive force. For instance, if we disapprove of ourselves, this will lead to an exaggerated need for the approval of others. The first step in sorting this out is to BECOME AWARE of our genuine needs, which is an emotional rather than intellectual process. When we recognize an unfulfilled need, we would do well to ACCEPT that we may feel frustration for a time, with a mature understanding that non-fulfillment is not the abyss, rather than pressing on some level for an immediate resolution. From a childish point of view, unfulfillment is misunderstood as (1) being permanent and (2) proving our imperfection. However, change will come as we focus on understanding why and how we have caused our own unfulfillment.
Questions and Answers:
While contrived or forced “goodness” produces moralizing which others rebel against, real goodness never has this effect on others.
Acceptance of our negative aspects does not mean acting them out. As we develop, we will take on prevailing moral codes as truly our own, so that they are flexibly and intuitively alive within us, rather than rejecting them or following them rigidly and intellectually.
© 2005, 2007 — All rights reserved (see first post in general orientation category).
Pathwork Lecture #089: Emotional Growth and Its Functions
August 3, 2007
Summary of Pathwork Lecture #089:
Emotional Growth and Its Functions
For a deeper, more rewarding experience of these teachings, consult the Lecture itself, available free of charge at: http://www.pathwork.org/lectures/P089.PDF
To know ourselves deeply, we must allow all of our emotions to reach our surface awareness, so that we may understand them, and so that they will have the opportunity to mature. We unconsciously resist this process, tending to concentrate more on our mental and physical aspects. But we need development in all three areas.
The emotional nature includes the capacity to feel (synonymous with the ability to give and receive happiness), and the intuitive creative capacity. We defend against the unhappiness which negative emotions cause by burying these emotions, which arrests their maturation, dulls our capacity to experience feelings in general (including joy), and leaves us isolated, underdeveloped and unsatisfied. And yet we cling to the numbing defense, and hide those feelings we actually experience. We also blame circumstances for our unhappiness, not seeing how our defensive tactic not only fails to accomplish its protective purpose but actually creates additional misery. We would do well to CONFRONT the fact that if we want happiness, we must be willing to give it, and we are unable to do so when we wall ourselves off from our own feelings.
Fear of the awkward and painful (yet necessary) transitional phase of emotional development causes us to try to skip it, hoping we can find painless growth instead, and this maneuver leaves us emotionally immature. When we choose to allow this transition, immature emotions must be expressed for the purpose of understanding them and letting them evolve naturally. Unfortunately, rather than trusting this organic process, we tend to superimpose the emotions we think we ought to have. This is hypocrisy and self-deception. The true emotions surface in times of crisis, when we are unable to maintain the facade. Typically, we fail to realize at such times that our immaturity caused the crisis, rather than the crisis causing the immature reactions.
We resist becoming aware of our immature and distorted emotions because of the misconception that becoming aware of our feelings is the same as giving vent to them. It is important that we CHANNEL the expression of negative emotions into an appropriate container, not for relief of psychic pressure, but for understanding. In this way, we will be able to get in touch with what we truly feel (as opposed to what we try to make ourselves feel), and see how our energetic patterns bring about the opposite of what we originally wanted.
This is the only way emotions can mature. We must go through the period that was missed in childhood and adolescence. Then, from a mature emotional base, we will be able to trust our intuition, rather than relying on our less-effective intellect, and to express true positive feelings. We simply need to GIVE UP our false idealized self-image (ISI) and be willing to face whatever is within us. This process is not to be feared. As long as the expression of negativity is properly channeled into self-discovery, there is no danger. Moreover, true security comes from being in truth with one’s self.
As spiritual seekers, we know that love is the greatest power, but we cannot love if we adopt a false detachment and do not allow ourselves to feel. We would do well to CONFRONT our unrealistic desire to grow spiritually without allowing ourselves to feel everything within us.
Questions and Answers:
False faith and love are grounded in need; true love and faith are self-dependent and grounded in emotional maturity.
The strong impact of negative emotions on the feeler is the way they contradict the ISI. Letting go of the ISI makes it possible to experience negative emotions in a growth-producing way, without the risk of being overtaken by them and behaving irresponsibly.
When negative emotions are not channeled into an appropriate container for purposes of growth, destructive lashing out occurs. The message of such a tantrum is “You see, you have forced me to do this and now see where this leads to.” We would do well to FIND the anger at the image that the world prevents us from being all that we can be. This blaming is dangerous to the self.
Hate and love can coexist simultaneously. Hate needs to be understood as the result of hurt, and forgiven as such.
The rechanneling of destructive energies, without the process of understanding them and allowing them to mature, is better than outright repression, but still not growth-producing.
© 2005, 2007 — All rights reserved (see first post in general orientation category).
Pathwork Lecture #088: Religion: True and False
August 3, 2007
Summary of Pathwork Lecture #088:
Religion: True and False
For a deeper, more rewarding experience of these teachings, consult the Lecture itself, available free of charge at: http://www.pathwork.org/lectures/P088.PDF
There has been a divine effort through the ages to communicate the truth to humanity. The reaction of the dark forces to this effort has been the distortion of false religion, which attempts to make falsehood appear true.
A major telltale aspect of false religion is the emphasis on obedience to authority, whereas true religion encourages people to act from conviction rather than fear. The religious emphasis on obedience has been justified as necessary to contain humanity’s evil impulses, but to the extent that such containment is necessary, it ought to be accomplished by secular civil authority.
False religion encourages dependency and helplessness, with obedience being offered in return for the prospect of divine stewardship of one’s life. However, God does not reward such unhealthy attitudes, and so one inevitably feels cheated. In addition, one feels shame about one’s submissiveness, and this feeling becomes destructively directed at others. All of this necessarily leads to rebellion.
A person who is overtly submissive and timid must have a rebellious, bitter and aggressive aspect, although it may be well-hidden from consciousness. At the same time, a person who is overtly hostile also has a cringing, dependent and appeasing aspect, which is hidden from awareness because it provokes shame. Such a person overcompensates for his or her weakness, while feeling alone and rejected by God and humanity alike. Of course, these opposite tendencies may exist to different degrees and at different levels within each person. We would do well, whenever we detect one of the surface attitudes in ourselves, to LOOK for the hidden opposite attitudes, which have far more influence upon us than our conscious beliefs. In doing such self-discovery work, we contribute to the advancement of real rather than false religion on the planet.
We can find the dependency and submissiveness in ourselves by searching for it from the starting point of any negative emotion; however, self-pity is the best place to start. As we get in touch with our desire to have God or some other external power take responsibility for our lives, and we see how this weakens us, we gradually assume responsibility ourselves, and this gives us strength and self-respect.
The transition between one’s false image of God as a Being who demands obedience and submissiveness to a truer understanding of God can be difficult, as there may be a period of not having any sense of connection to God and even of doubting God’s existence. It is important to persevere through this phase — to tolerate the sense of aloneness — in order to develop the independence and self-responsibility which is essential to one’s spiritual evolution.
As we do this work, we will come to a better understanding of the need to face death and the unknown squarely and to accept it (as discussed in Lecture 81, conflicts in the World of Duality), and we will become more able to look productively at how some of our attitudes contradict the spirituality we are searching for.
Questions and Answers:
An attitude towards God which is grounded in truth seeks to understand how we have created our own suffering and to mobilize the divine within ourselves in order to overcome it, rather than pleading for God’s intervention, then stepping aside and waiting, and then feeling either anger or self-pity when God’s help fails to materialize.
We cannot change our erroneous attitudes by an act of will. Rather, we must EXPLORE them until we deeply understand how illogical and futile they are. While these emotional currents are subtle, they are not completely unconscious. We are, however, so used to them that we tend not to pay attention to them.
It cannot be said which religion is “farther away from the truth.”
“Thy will be done” does not suggest that we should be helpless, but rather that we would do well to open ourselves as much as possible so that we may receive a wisdom which is greater than the dictates of the little ego.
The trend of history is towards greater self-responsibility, which means less reliance on organized religious authority.
The truth cannot be stated as a rigid law. What we feel and what our underlying motives always determine what is best for us.
© 2007 — All rights reserved (see first post in general orientation category).
Summary of Pathwork Lecture #087:
The Next Phase on the Path; Questions and Answers
For a deeper, more rewarding experience of these teachings, consult the Lecture itself, available free of charge at: http://www.pathwork.org/lectures/P087.PDF
Spiritual growth is more dependent on awareness of one’s subconscious emotions than it is on general theoretical knowledge, at least in the sense that without self-awareness, theoretical knowledge will have little effect.
The Lectures focused on spiritual truths and spiritual law early on, and then became more concerned with the quest for self-knowledge. Leaving matters of spiritual law aside for a time was useful in the sense that it helped those who were listening and doing the work to look at themselves honestly without the inhibition of “good/bad” judgment. Eventually, however, it is necessary to return to spiritual matters after a period of self-search, and to re-examine things from a spiritual perspective with the benefit of greater self-awareness. When we are able to understand our feelings and reactions, and when we understand the prideful way we try to force ourselves to be good and to live up to our idealized self-image (ISI), we can safely consider those feelings and reactions in a spiritual light, including evaluation of how well they correspond with truth, goodness and love.
Questions and Answers:
The symbology of the Tower of Babel is that at one time, each of us was a unified, harmonious soul, but then we became internally conflicted and unable to understand ourselves, causing chaos and confusion to come into our lives. This condition makes it difficult for us to understand others. The movement from the East referred to in the Biblical account symbolizes the movement from perfection to the fallen state, which will culminate in a return, full circle, to the “West” of regained perfection with additional perspective (just as the Lectures will return us to spirituality with additional perspective, as described above).
The chaos in the world is the result of the chaos in our souls, not the other way around. Humanity is evolving, and we can each contribute to a better world by discovering and removing our misguided defense mechanisms.
The attempt to build the Tower of Babel all the way to heaven represents the prideful construction of the ISI — a pseudo-solution which must crumble and fall, just as the tower crumbled and fell.
If we feel restless and disharmonious, even on a subtle level, when we receive gratification and pleasure, it is because some false goal or value related to our ISI is being attained. We realize unconsciously that we are not satisfied by this, and the resulting implication that our ISI-related goals and values are false is what causes us the inner tension, since we no longer have a clear concept of how to go about attaining pleasure. If, on the other hand, we can still uphold the goal or value while believing that we are unlikely to attain it, we are more likely to experience depression.
Conditions on Earth and on other planets are such that they require repeated incarnations in order to master.
Subtle bodies enter the physical body in the womb, but there is not a complete, decisive entry into the physical body until the moment of birth. However, this is not an integration into oneness, and we must work on the path in order to unify ourselves.
Any conflict, distortion or illusion we carry must necessarily interfere with any constructive endeavor we undertake.
As helpless children struggling with the difficulty of life, we conclude either that we must comply with a set of rules in order to have safety, or that we must rebel against the rules. Either way, the first obstacle we encounter is our God-image — the basic conclusion we have come to about the nature of life itself — and depending on our personalities, we either try to comply with it or to become it. This choice determines the basic nature of our ISI. By living up to our ISI’s demands as best we can, we compensate for our feelings of helplessness and humiliation. This is true even of a persons whose ISI demands rebellion against conventional values and rules. Our perfectionistic investment in our ISI also relieves us from the humiliating feeling that we are required to obey the feared God-image whether we want to or not.
[To a person who asked about the meaning of such person's guilt feelings in regard to the assassination of a dictator, the Guide replied that the questioner had unrecognized desires to be dictatorial, and that the guilt was a facet of the non-accepting responses of the questioner's submissive and power-seeking facets to each other.]
There is no such thing as subjective truth. Truth is objective. Facts are merely facets of the truth, so that we may possess the facts without understanding the truth. The more we are willing to face the truth about ourselves, the more we will be able to discern truth in general.
While loving animals is a sign of openness to Creation on one level, it does not indicate any specific extent of overall maturity.
On a deep subconscious level, we know everything pertaining to our life conditions. Thus, we would deeply know if we were illegitimate, although the effect which that condition would have on any particular individual is entirely personal.
© 2007 — All rights reserved (see first post in general orientation category).
