Pathwork Lecture #089: Emotional Growth and Its Functions

Summary of Pathwork Lecture #089:
Emotional Growth and Its Functions

For a deeper, more rewarding experience of these teachings, consult the Lecture itself, available free of charge at: http://www.pathwork.org/lectures/P089.PDF

To know ourselves deeply, we must allow all of our emotions to reach our surface awareness, so that we may understand them, and so that they will have the opportunity to mature. We unconsciously resist this process, tending to concentrate more on our mental and physical aspects. But we need development in all three areas.

The emotional nature includes the capacity to feel (synonymous with the ability to give and receive happiness), and the intuitive creative capacity. We defend against the unhappiness which negative emotions cause by burying these emotions, which arrests their maturation, dulls our capacity to experience feelings in general (including joy), and leaves us isolated, underdeveloped and unsatisfied. And yet we cling to the numbing defense, and hide those feelings we actually experience. We also blame circumstances for our unhappiness, not seeing how our defensive tactic not only fails to accomplish its protective purpose but actually creates additional misery. We would do well to CONFRONT the fact that if we want happiness, we must be willing to give it, and we are unable to do so when we wall ourselves off from our own feelings.

Fear of the awkward and painful (yet necessary) transitional phase of emotional development causes us to try to skip it, hoping we can find painless growth instead, and this maneuver leaves us emotionally immature. When we choose to allow this transition, immature emotions must be expressed for the purpose of understanding them and letting them evolve naturally. Unfortunately, rather than trusting this organic process, we tend to superimpose the emotions we think we ought to have. This is hypocrisy and self-deception. The true emotions surface in times of crisis, when we are unable to maintain the facade. Typically, we fail to realize at such times that our immaturity caused the crisis, rather than the crisis causing the immature reactions.

We resist becoming aware of our immature and distorted emotions because of the misconception that becoming aware of our feelings is the same as giving vent to them. It is important that we CHANNEL the expression of negative emotions into an appropriate container, not for relief of psychic pressure, but for understanding. In this way, we will be able to get in touch with what we truly feel (as opposed to what we try to make ourselves feel), and see how our energetic patterns bring about the opposite of what we originally wanted.

This is the only way emotions can mature. We must go through the period that was missed in childhood and adolescence. Then, from a mature emotional base, we will be able to trust our intuition, rather than relying on our less-effective intellect, and to express true positive feelings. We simply need to GIVE UP our false idealized self-image (ISI) and be willing to face whatever is within us. This process is not to be feared. As long as the expression of negativity is properly channeled into self-discovery, there is no danger. Moreover, true security comes from being in truth with one’s self.

As spiritual seekers, we know that love is the greatest power, but we cannot love if we adopt a false detachment and do not allow ourselves to feel. We would do well to CONFRONT our unrealistic desire to grow spiritually without allowing ourselves to feel everything within us.

Questions and Answers:

False faith and love are grounded in need; true love and faith are self-dependent and grounded in emotional maturity.

The strong impact of negative emotions on the feeler is the way they contradict the ISI. Letting go of the ISI makes it possible to experience negative emotions in a growth-producing way, without the risk of being overtaken by them and behaving irresponsibly.

When negative emotions are not channeled into an appropriate container for purposes of growth, destructive lashing out occurs. The message of such a tantrum is “You see, you have forced me to do this and now see where this leads to.” We would do well to FIND the anger at the image that the world prevents us from being all that we can be. This blaming is dangerous to the self.

Hate and love can coexist simultaneously. Hate needs to be understood as the result of hurt, and forgiven as such.

The rechanneling of destructive energies, without the process of understanding them and allowing them to mature, is better than outright repression, but still not growth-producing.

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